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Quotes & sayingsGold Star from eclecticGold Star from JaneGold Star from Andie by Ree  
Good, bad, funny!!!! (and rude!!!!)
Category: Other
Last updated: 20/02/10
This Lifelist is public.
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz me2! from Jane
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. medal from Al
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
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Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson.....sorry I just had to!!! me2! from Jane medal from Al
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You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!
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What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
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The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. medal from Al
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
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"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams medal from Al
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I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush ???????? thank god hes gone me2! from Jane medal from Al
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He who laughs last didn't get it.
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"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush .....OK!
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If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. Helen Rowland medal from Al
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I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. - Patrick Dennis
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If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog. - Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono
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If you can't convince them, confuse them. - President Harry S Truman
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Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn medal from Al
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As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar. medal from Al
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As worn out as a cucumber in a convent. medal from Al
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She's so stupid she returns bowling balls because they've got holes in them. - Joan Rivers on Bo Derek me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead me2! from Jane
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She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing. - Oscar Levant
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Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb me2! from Jane
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I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. - Corazon Aquino me2! from Jane
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To love and be loved is to feel the SUN from both sides -- David Viscott.
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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
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Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
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No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. ~Sam Ewing
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. ~Sam Ewing
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moking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. Deeeeeerrrrrr!!!!!
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"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer OK!!!!!
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"So, how did you all meet?" - Donna Air, while interviewing sibling band The Corrs
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"There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don't we try drinking rats' milk and dogs' milk?" - Heather Mills......COOKOO!!!!
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"It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day." - Lady Victoria Hervey....Mabey it's all the inbreeding thats to blame for that!!!
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"I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car." - Tara Palmer-Tomkinson....I rest my case!!!! LOL
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"Wasn't Winston Churchill the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me... that's black..." - Danielle Lloyd , Bless her!!!!!