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Quotes & sayingsGold Star from eclecticGold Star from JaneGold Star from Andie by Ree  
Good, bad, funny!!!! (and rude!!!!)
Category: Other
Last updated: 20/02/10
This Lifelist is public.
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz me2! from Jane
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. medal from Al
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson.....sorry I just had to!!! me2! from Jane medal from Al
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. medal from Al
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams medal from Al
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush ???????? thank god hes gone me2! from Jane medal from Al
He who laughs last didn't get it.
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush .....OK!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. Helen Rowland medal from Al
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. - Patrick Dennis
If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog. - Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono
If you can't convince them, confuse them. - President Harry S Truman
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn medal from Al
As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar. medal from Al
As worn out as a cucumber in a convent. medal from Al
She's so stupid she returns bowling balls because they've got holes in them. - Joan Rivers on Bo Derek me2! from The new Mrs. Quinn
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead me2! from Jane
She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing. - Oscar Levant
Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb me2! from Jane
I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. - Corazon Aquino me2! from Jane
To love and be loved is to feel the SUN from both sides -- David Viscott.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. ~Sam Ewing
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. ~Sam Ewing
moking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. Deeeeeerrrrrr!!!!!
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer OK!!!!!
"So, how did you all meet?" - Donna Air, while interviewing sibling band The Corrs
"There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don't we try drinking rats' milk and dogs' milk?" - Heather Mills......COOKOO!!!!
"It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day." - Lady Victoria Hervey....Mabey it's all the inbreeding thats to blame for that!!!
"I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car." - Tara Palmer-Tomkinson....I rest my case!!!! LOL
"Wasn't Winston Churchill the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me... that's black..." - Danielle Lloyd , Bless her!!!!!